Starting Line Blues [Panic on the Streets of Boston]

So, uh, hey, I’m running the Boston Marathon in three short days [renewed wave o' panic].  How does it feel to be three short days away from “The Biggest Marathon Ever©!!11!1″? Why, it feels a little something like this:

And just to be safe, I would add “What if I’m hot?”and “What if I’m cold?”  And this is approximately what I’ll be wearing on Monday, but I’m sure any onlookers will spot me easily among the 20,000 other runners.  Ha, ha.  Gulp.

Octo-Stump [The Long Run: Day Four]

Friends, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  In my experience, after eighteen miles of running, no matter how many Gu’s/SportBeanz you’ve housed, things tend to get a little dicey.  As in — how shall I put this — hallucinatory.  Thinking back, this could probably be explained by dehydration.  True factoid: .0001% of D.C.’s water fountains work.  At least the ones on my running routes.   And yet, do I a) bring water or b) vary my route?  Ha, ha — hell, no!  But I digress.  Around mile eighteen I glanced at the edge of the trail and saw an octopus, y’all!  See??

Orrr…maybe just a stump.  It sorta looks like an octopus, right?  Sigh.

Who needs psychotropics, right?  High five!

Fish In Crosswalk [The Long Run: Day Three]

No matter how many eternal and rainy 20-milers I may suffer through, though myriad stress fractures may sideline me, and lo the many plantar fasciitis flare-ups  that may hobble me, I will always love running because it gave me this:

Just kidding.  All that crap sucks and I’d have to see a Yeti on the National Mall to make them worthwhile.  BUT!  Fish In Crosswalk was indeed a magical moment.  Near the  Tidal Basin, but  not near enough to make any sense, I crossed the street to find this fellow staring up at me.  I looked at the car stopped for me for an explanation, but there was none.    D.C.’s waterways are flooded, but this guy was a real overachiever.  Unless it fell out of someone’s shopping bag.  As my très outdoorsy husband put it:  “A fish in the crosswalk?  You mean, like a supermarket fish?”

Flock Of Tourists [The Long Run: Day Two]

As I made my way past the Washington Monument, an area choc-a-bloc with confused and sodden tourists, I was treated to a ghoulish sight:  a flock of pastel-poncho’ed Segway riders.

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Imagine this times four or so.  Shudder.

Jeans On Tree [The Long Run: Day One]

As several readers are already aware (and as the rest of you are about to learn..oh, the suspense!), I’m in the midst of training for the Boston Marathon.  Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure (a term I’m using as loosely as it is possible to use a term) to run twenty (yes, 2-0) miles in the mostly pouring rain.  When you’re out on a twenty-mile run, the only thing keeping you on the right side of sanity (especially when your earphones have become waterlogged) is the scenery.  Lucky for me, yesterday was a banner day in the Washington, D.C.- environs for some seriously weird shizz-peeping.  And lucky for YOU, I’ve doodled up some of them and will post them this week.

First, Jeans On Tree.

Any questions?