Thing of the Week: Planets

So our theme this week is planets.  I’m sure anyone who knows my work was fearing a week of this kind of nonsense:

Ugh.  There’s something particularly offensive to me about the lazy logic-free zone where the sun wears sunglasses.  So I’m not going that low.  But some of my planets may still be anthropomorphic because, well, I kind of think everything should be.

Here’s Mercury:

Fun Facts*:

Mercury is the smallest planet because Pluto’s been bumped.  It is not, however, the hottest, despite existing essentially up the sun’s Ray-Ban’d butt.  That honor belongs to tomorrow’s planet, my personal favorite.

* Note: no facts that appear here have actually been fact-checked.

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