I’ve seen 1.5 episodes of The History Channel’s [insert gravelly, gravitas-laden voiceover] Life After People show now, which makes me an expert on the topic. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a effects & drama-heavy (as well as unintentionally hilarious) look at the world after all the people mysteriously disappear. [Spoiler alert: everything we made/screwed up pretty much goes back to normal in a thousand years or so, except for giant mountain sculptures like Rushmore and something called “Stone Mountain” which, yankee that I am, had never even heard of until this]
I think it’s supposed to show us how inconsequential we are, and make us feel less bad for destroying everything. Sort of like a reverse environmental guilt: “Look, once we disappear it’ll be OK, so chill out with the recycling, man!”
Anyway, it occurred to me that even as unattended dams and breweries explode, Wrigley Field gets eaten by its own vines and police horses run free, mating with pigeons or whatever, that everything except the humans – bugs, trees, kudzu, dogs, mold – seem to having an absolute renaissance in our absence, and in fact are probably pretty psyched to see us gone.
Tomorrow: But what of the trees?