Get ready, this one’s pretty creepy:
Here’s Mars and intrusive gas giant Jupiter. I know, I’ve neglected the Asterioid Belt, and for that I apologize.
Tomorrow? First installment of the next part of The Turning of the Worm! See you then.
Or, the Ice Giants.
Let’s face it, folks: Uranus (despite its rude name) and Neptune are totally boring and I can’t tell them apart. They’re the same size, they’re far away — so far away in fact that Neptune suffered the decade-or-so-long indignity of having its orbit cut off by Pluto, making it the furthest planet from the Sun. That’s over now, but who can forget?
Anyway, they’re about the same size so they may as well be twins. Yeah, one rotates funny and one –maybe both– have rings? They have a ton of moons…SNORE.
So our theme this week is planets. I’m sure anyone who knows my work was fearing a week of this kind of nonsense:
Ugh. There’s something particularly offensive to me about the lazy logic-free zone where the sun wears sunglasses. So I’m not going that low. But some of my planets may still be anthropomorphic because, well, I kind of think everything should be.
Mercury is the smallest planet because Pluto’s been bumped. It is not, however, the hottest, despite existing essentially up the sun’s Ray-Ban’d butt. That honor belongs to tomorrow’s planet, my personal favorite.
* Note: no facts that appear here have actually been fact-checked.